Old words

Following my post about The Pirates of Penzance, I feel moved to mention a particular lyric which I never understood as a boy because I only heard it and had not seen the libretto.

Mabel sings "Hold monsters! Ere your pirate caravanserai proceed, against our will, to wed us all....". I tried to make sense of this think she was singing, "Ere your pirate caravans arrive...". It still doesn't make a lot of sense to me. She is basically saying ,"Hold on you beasts; before you marry us off you ought to know our father is a Major-General". Why she needs to mention caravanserai I have no idea, although I suppose Pirates are travellers. She could also mean the Pirates are treating the girls as 'goods'.

Later we in the operetta hear:

Pray observe the magnanimity
We display to lace and dimity!
Never was such opportunity
To get married with impunity,
But we give up the felicity
Of unbounded domesticity,
Though a doctor of divinity
Is located in this vicinity.

How many of those words words have you used this week, this month or this year?

The whole operetta is littered with examples of the variety and power of the English language and I foresee several months ahead of explaining all these to the pupils at school.

Only today Mrs TS was watching "Dunkirk" on TV and - from the next room - one character said to another,"Don't be a clot". I had quite forgotten the word although my father had addressed it to me on many occasions both in jest and otherwise!

One of our more senior masters at school likes old words and he mentioned Smithereens, which I agree is an excellent word.

Bring back "Call my Bluff" [which finished in 2005]

Finally here's a really mad performance of the Major-General's song. Mabel's line is heard first though pronounced in slightly different way. Listen to the totally mad orchestration particularly the piano and xylophone - is this the Broadway version of the show? It isn't Sullivan's scoring. I admire the tempo.

Pirates

I have been studying "The Pirates of Penzance" all weekend for school. My reference CD was a D'Oyly Carte recording from 1968 (and 2003). I have really enjoyed the part of Mabel as sung by Valerie Masterson [above] who had a well-focused agile voice (she now in her 70s). There are comments on the company's production in this article. I do like to hear a secure voice which is not being forced and which does not have excessive operatic vibrato. Her voice stands above others in quality on the CD.

There are some other good voices on the CD although many do sound dated. This is because they actually take trouble to produce decent vowels, although their vowel modification is rather over the top for current tastes. We were taught to do much the same as choristers and it is still an important technique. I wonder if I'm picking it out more than an 'ordinary' listener would.

The Pirate King is the late Donald Adams who suits the role although I feel he struggles lower down his register. Ruth is sung by Jean Allister in what I feel is an highly idiomatic rendition for the time although the style is rather fruity sounding these days - she sounds as if she is overworking at times and it isn't always comfortable to hear. Frederic is Philip Potter who does a fine job sounding suitably 'innocent' and incorruptible whilst John Reed as the Major General delivers the right characterisation. Owen Brannigan was well cast as the Police Sergeant.

When my sister sang the part of Mabel when she was at school all the singers listed above were alive and most were at the height of their powers. Time marches on; we have lost some and the rest have retired. Like sportsmen and women, vocalists have a limited shelf-life. Would that some members of church choirs would realise this.

A slight scream

Broadband off today; must have been our ISP - it's back on now. As it happens it was't a Windows problem, but don't you just hate Windows' error messages? There are two above.

Funny Local News

On the front page of the local free paper is a story headlined thus:

Shock as bones found in bushes

There is a picture of the finger bones taken with a mobile phone on the page too. What is amusing about this story is that the account says:

Shop owner Natalie, who runs the Nimble Fingerz Craft Centre, found the bones outside her shop at 5.30pm.

Finger bones / Fingerz - get it?

Mahler

One effect of growing relatively old is that one acquires a taste for music which didn't appeal in one's youth - well that's what I find.

Whilst gathering my papers together to do my Tax Return tonight I put on a CD of Mahler's 5th symphony. Along came the 4th movement, "Adagietto", and the old eyes started watering. There are two reasons.

When my father died in 1998 I did the 'stiff upper lip' thing all day but I knew I had stuff to let out when I got home - the "Adagietto" did the trick.

It also reminds me of being in my teens when I went to see "Death in Venice" with a rather nice young girl whose name I have long since forgotten. It was the only film on, and I found it tediously boring and not a little creepy, as you can probably imagine. The soundtrack was all Mahler and, though I didn't enjoy it then I got to know it pretty well.

I'd happily be a teenager and go to see it again....

Anyway, I played in two Mahler symphonies as university; the 6th as a percussionist and the 8th as the organist. I was quite terrified on both occasions because I am rubbish at counting multiple bars of rest!

Socks

I can't do it! I simply cannot wear a pair of socks on a Tuesday which have written on them one of the other days of the week.

I bought two packs of socks a while back of the style shown above. For the first week all I had to do was remove the socks in order from the packet. Now Mrs TS has washed them and put them in my sock drawer it isn't just a question of reaching in and grabbing a pair of socks for the day - oh no. I have an irrational need to wear the day-specific pair on any given day. Why? If admitted to hospital do I presume the staff will stand around casting judgements on my inability to match socks to the day? Is it superstition? I know not. It just goes against the grain. Thus my purchase was not such a wise investment as it now takes 15 seconds extra to select socks in the morning.

Mathematicians out there will know that at the start of the week (and assuming I only bought one pack) there are 7 possible pairs; on the second day 6. Thus there are factorial 7 (7!) possible orders of picking the socks out of the drawer over a week. That's 5040, which any bellringer will tell you.

Chopsticks 2

Jocelyn has responded by identifying the music I heard as the Flea Waltz. She even wrote out the music specially for a revision she made of the Wikipedia article, but her revision has been removed! Anyway there is now a 'See Also' link at the bottom of the page; perhaps that is why.

Mystery solved!

Chopsticks

Jocelyn has contacted me to say that there is more to Chopsticks than she realised. In fact, it is not a piece I hear very much although I do own a copy of the "Chop Waltz". The piece I mentioned in my previous post begins as shown above but I do not know what it is called. I now expect to inundated with people telling me, such as Julie, Can Bass, Christopher Campbell-Howes and many others. I hope they do; I hate a mystery.

As for Chopsticks, view this performance and marvel.

Guilty

Steve has written about the way he judged some callers at his door. I too have jumped to a conclusion this week (well more than one, but this is the most recent).

Yesterday I played the organ at a church to allow the regular guy to have a holiday, despite my recent post. I arrived for choir practice at 9.40 (which meant I could not go bellringing) and a few folk said "Good morning" as I entered to the strains of the choirmaster playing "Chopsticks" on the piano. [Actually it wasn't chopsticks but I'm not sure of the name of the blasted piece].

Anyway I wandered to the organ console to set up. There was no hymn book (only the cardboard covers of the organ copy which had come adrift during my tenure of the post) and there was no copy of the setting of the Communion service. Although I had one with me, I'd been promised there would be one to avoid awkward page turns. I was out of sorts. OK, I'd caught the sun playing croquet on Saturday but this was not a good start; I vowed I'd never play at this church again.

I waited to be asked to strike up a chord but it became clear the choirmaster didn't know I had arrived. When he heard this he immediately walked to the organ console to say 'Hello' and asked if everything was okay. I gruffly told him there was no music and that I was confused because the music list mentioned a communion hymn but he had just rehearsed it, calling it the anthem which was supposed to be a different piece.

He replied that he had put all the music on the piano (which I'd be using for the communion music) ready for me and the rehearsal. Thus I went right from, 'nobody has even bothered to check there is music for me to play' to 'this guy is on the ball' in a flash. The rehearsal went well (although I was expected to sight-read quite an intricate accompaniment to the aforesaid anthem; I'm pretty good at sight-reading so this was no sweat though I say so myself - however I do like to look at things in advance. Indeed, had they wanted the organ for this I'd have wanted to sort out stops and know it well so I could devote my attention to the CCTV which combats the fact that the conductor is miles away from the organist AND the choir cannot be heard terribly well).

Furthermore, after the rehearsal the choirmaster came and asked my advice about a few musical points which confirmed to me that he actually didn't regard himself as God's gift to music (which I'd been led to believe). In the end we made a good team and I shall go again, if asked. Like Steve I was glad I didn't burn my bridges too soon and say the wrong thing(s).

At the end of the service there were notices. The town has an annual Fair (and has done for the last 800 years). I got the wrong idea when they announced the Tarts competition. They were referring to Curd Tarts.

Honesty

We are currently discovering that our MPs are not as white as the driven snow - what a surprise! We expect better from those who represent us. Andy Hamilton (I think) on Have I got News for you summed it up well when he said MPs were having to bring (force) themselves to use a system which they new to be unfair; they didn't want to do it but there was no other way! That's the gist of what he said.

This post is not about MPs! [Clarification added 22nd May. This post is about the sad fact that people we expect to do the right thing very often don't seem to do so; this extends to church people!]

I have just popped into the church where I have agreed to play on Sunday. Although I don't have a key, the deadlock is undone during the day and I know the code to the other lock. [It's my half day and I was in the town to buy a piano for school, as you do]. I went in to grab a copy of the music I need to play which, although sight-readable, has the odd corner I want to sort out. As I opened the cupboard I was struck by the presence of a photocopied piece of music. It is a song some pupils of mine have just sung for an exam and they all bought copies. I bought two so I could have all the music open at a glance (4 pages worth)

Why is it that church musicians think they can rob composers and publishers of revenue by photocopying everything? Well the answer is in society today; the pirated software, the copied CD and so on. Rules do not seem to apply to anyone these days and, after all, rules are made to be broken.

Am I pure? Probably not (although I do my very best), but I don't expect to see blatant photocopies in a church cupboard. Poor!

Puzzle

I look after some of the school website and my most recent update (using a match report sent to me by a coach) was visible at home on my PC. However, at school the page was filtered as 'inappropriate' and could not be accessed. We have all looked to see what the problem was but we cannot do so. There were a number of possibilities but, when these were removed, the page still failed to display. Can any of you find the offensive word? I have shown the possibilities we thought of.

[School] decided to be positive against the larger and more experienced [another] School. With wins already under our belt it was thought to be aggressive from ball one in order to unsettle the strength of this larger school's 1st XI. After a stuttering beginning [school] scored 161 in this 30 over match. [Boy] and [Boy] took the fight to the opposition with two very good half centuries. However I felt, and expressed my opinions at tea, that we didn’t make enough runs as at one stage we should have pressed on to 180 or even 200 (I apologised for being a grump but things need to be said).

A superb bowling and team-fielding display including wickets for [3 boys] and [boy] enabled the home side to romp home. It was noted by supporters that the fielding is improving and we even saw the Captain catch one today. So more this week before Wednesday!! And fitness as ever!! (I have a few worries regarding the fathers fielding the ball in a few weeks however...because its travelling pretty hard at the moment).

3 years ago this system would not let me e-mail the Carol Service programme to the secretary because I had selected "Ding dong, merrily on high".

From the East

I spent much of the afternoon in Cambridge having gone to attend an organ recital by Simon Thomas Jacobs in King's College Chapel. I met up with daughter #1 briefly who took a break from her revision to enjoy an ice-cream with me outside Great St. Mary's. I discovered what I suspected that the recital followed Choral Evensong so I decided to attend that first.

Having said goodbye to 'Miss Saw' I joined the huge queue waiting to enter the chapel. There was room for everyone and I found a seat at the East end (on the North side) about half way between the altar and the choir. The organ sounded good from this position although I felt it was too strong for the choir much of the time; but it can't be perfect everywhere in the building. I haven't discovered who was playing the organ as the website does not (as far as I can see) say who the organ scholar is. However, his (or her) playing took me right back to my youth. The playing was excellent, suitably legato and actually quite flawless; the swell box was well controlled and the swell reeds and mixtures shone over the great at all the right points. [Non-organists will have dozed off by now I expect]. We were treated to some Howells before the service (not sure which piece it was) and then the choir came in to an absolutely typical, spine-chilling, toe-curling, English-cathedral-style improvisation. [There are several services I'd like to attend this month to hear the music but I shall not be able to do so.]

Other than attending a concert in the chapel last year I have not attended Evensong at King's since I was about 17 when a few of us went to hear my then teacher Andrew Newberry give a recital. The style of the playing today and the tone of the organ was a powerful reminder of my days as a chorister. I am not a great fan of Howell's "Gloucester Service" nor of Wesley's "Blessed be the God and Father" but the treble soloist was superb. Oddly, the congregation was not invited to sit for the psalm, although there would have been an almighty clatter if we had then had to stand for the Gloria. As it was the service took an hour which is long for Evensong which is usually 45 minutes in most places. I couldn't hear any of the words in the psalm and the chant was a bit naff too - so null points there King's!

There was a mass exodus before the recital but quite a few different people came in. I had really gone because the last item on the programme was Reubke's "Sonata on the 94th Psalm" which I used to play (badly) and which is not included in recitals all that often (purely in my experience, I could be wrong).

I have not got time to review the recital not that I really want to but I was glad I knew all the music. This is because I could not hear a great deal of detail and this has absolutely nothing to do with the recitalist who was first class. It is just possible that my hearing is getting worse; this of course happens with age anyway and we lose our ability to hear the highest pitches first. Many an organ tuner has found themselves unable to tune very small pipes towards the end of their careers, though I suspect quite a few have had a go anyway (no that's just unfair - a cruel joke!).

However, it may not be my hearing at all. Mrs TS has always criticised organists who indulge in what she terms "Let's play as loud as we can" music. For years - until she saw me play it - she thought Widor's "Toccata" went ' dum dum, diddle dum dum, dee dum dum, dee dum dum..." whereas the right hand actually has a constant stream of semiquavers and she was only hearing the left hand part.

My theory is this and I suppose is supported by my recent visit to Blackburn. I seldom hear a cathedral organ 'live' and I think organ music (by which I mean the figurations composers use) is a language which one forgets how to understand. This is rather like my mother who was a shorthand typist but can now only recall a few characters, and my late father who used to be a Morse Code operator in the war - he had lost all fluency by the time I was 10 having had no cause to use the skill.

So, in not hearing a large organ played regularly in a large resonant building, when I do hear one I am like most other musicians who (let's face it) poor scorn on the instrument as lacking soul, and organists as the lowest form of musical life. I only hear a confusing jumble of noises. Yes, I enjoy the rumble of a 32' (and there were plenty in Evensong) but my ears seem to have forgotten how to untangle all the frequencies involved in organ music and I am, frankly, not as keen on the instrument as I was when I was a boy.

One final comment and I don't mean to upset anyone as I was guilty of this myself in my time: when playing organ music, the recitalist must play it at the tempo the building demands and not at the tempo their well-honed technique will permit them to play it.

Worn Out

It has been an extremely long day today and we are all getting ready for Open Day on Sunday. As Director of Music it falls to my lot to plan and direct a concert which I've been working at most of the term.

• 7.25 Leave House
• 7.50 Arrive at school; pop into breakfast to give notices, then go on 'duty'
• 8.35 Take hymn practice [Hymn 152 in BBC Songs of Praise "Jesus the name high over all" is not one I have ever sung even when I was a chorister. It has the most dreary tune - avoid it at all costs.]
• 8.50-10.45 Give 3 piano lessons
• 10.45 Grab a coffee
• 10.55 Rehearse band
• 11.30 Teach a class
• 12.05 Revamp a notice board using borrowed staple gun (some sod has not returned mine) by putting up backing paper and pupils' work as well as a few photographs of birds (as we were looking at Messiaen's use of Birdsong in music)
• 12.50 Lunch
• 1.20 Rehearse Form 5 in the hall (they don't know their words)
• 1.45 Teach Form 5 (couldn't rehearse them in the hall this period as it was in use for a gym display rehearsal)
  
• 2.25 Put up posters all round the department and generally spruce up notice boards
  
• 3.00 Sort out all MY music for the concert rehearsal and then start moving amplifiers and things to the hall. Liaise with secretary about programme I have typed and e-mailed to her but which she has not saved after the previous lot of revisions (she's a dear so I forgive her)
• 4.00 Check work for next lesson
• 4.25 Teach Form 2
• 5.00 Wire up 2 amps in the hall, set up a keyboard, music stands and so on.
• 6.00 Supper (baked potato and beans)
• 6.25-8.30 Run rehearsal
• 8.30 Check e-mail for Associated Board exam results (All boys have passed; yay!)
• 9.20 Arrive home - Mrs TS has videoed "Have I got News for you"
• 9.30 Watch Reggie Perrin after eating 2 Weetabix and toast.
• 10.00 Bath then watch the video
• 11.00 Check e-mail on home PC and open Google Reader to check various blogs.
  
• 11.10 Write this blog as a way on unwinding before I go to bed

However, I would rather do this job than go back to Bash Street comprehensive where I spent 24 years. Next week will be quieter.

Star Trek 2

I have just found this quiz on another blog.

Here are my results:

You are An Expendable Character (Redshirt)

Since your accomplishments are seldom noticed, and you are rarely thought of, you are expendable. That doesn't mean your job isn't important but if you were in Star Trek you would be killed off in the first episode you appeared in.

Click here to take the Star Trek Personality Test

Damn!

Nobody has complained before

If I have cause to complain about something I almost expect certain standard answers: "Well, you're the first to complain", "Nobody else finds it a problem", "It has always been like that".

What gets my goat is the sad and misguided logic behind such statements.

Just because nobody else has complained it doesn't mean everyone thought a given situation was acceptable; they may just have decided to take their custom elsewhere, put it down to experience or whatever. Perhaps they are actually more realistic than I am, reasoning that if a company will allow a certain bad practice to happen they are unlikely to understand a complaint and, hence, it is not worth complaining.

Secondly, so blinking what? You've got a complaint NOW matey Jim. What are you going to do about it?

(My own rules of blogging do not permit me to say more.)

Why should I?

I am amazed by the way people expect me to put myself about to help them out.

Recently I was phoned by a lady who wanted singing lessons for her daughters; they'd heard how good I am from other pupils. She told me she did not have a piano in her house (I do not teach in my home for various reasons) so I declined to take on the job. "Can't you bring a keyboard with you?". Frankly it sounded as if they needed me more than I needed them. Anyway there were other things which out me off; her children attend a nearby Stage School which subscribes to the philosophy, "Let's wear a really broad grin when we sing".

Today, while I was at work, Mrs TS had a phone call from the organist of the church where I used to play to see if I could fill in one week when he is away; I shall be on Half Term as it happens. As I don't get home until 8.15pm (Monday being a 12 hour day for me) he was told I'd be home later which seemed to suit him as he was at a PCC meeting until 10.00pm. Here we are at 10.45 and no phone call. Mrs TS tells me that - had I read her note properly - I was meant to phone him back just after 10. Why? The church has taken back my door key so I cannot get in to practise (should I feel the urge).

Honestly - some people!

Mobile phone - not!

My voluntary this morning after the school service was Toccatina by Yon. The Deputy Head said that, at the start, he thought it was a mobile phone ring tone!

Sad email

I've just heard from one of my university lecturers. Given that I left 28 years ago the news is not surprising, but sad none the less.

Yes we are still keeping going, though Jane (not her real name) is on a constant downward slope, I fear, and can now do nothing for herself, can barely talk and has to be hoisted wherever she needs to be moved. I, very bent, stumble around clinging to all the grab rails.

Many of my contemporaries will remember this lecturer and Jane getting engaged and the university orchestra playing Mendelssohn's "Wedding March" from A Midsummer Night's Dream (which they were actually due to perform). Jane was in the woodwind section and it is so sad to read the above. I feel for them both.

Star Trek

One benefit of working at a boarding school is that I get a half day and this has allowed me to see the new Star Trek movie [preview] today. Boy, I was blown away (OK I'm easily pleased) and I thought it was a fantastic film. I'm not going to spoil it for you - you will have to go yourself.

I thought the back stories of the characters were well done and I think most men will enjoy the Uhura character! Captain Pike comes across as a wise captain and it was good to have his role fleshed out just a little; he only appeared in the original pilot and The Menagerie.

I was, however, surprised by my reaction to the film. Was it all a wave of nostalgia and realisation that I was a mere boy when Star Trek was first screened in the UK? The old eyes watered just before Kirk was born [without giving anything away] and I found Leonard Nimoy's appearance in the film very moving, as it must have been for him (see Star Trek link above and his wife's comments). He was clearly handing over the baton to the new actor, as we all do in life to our children, and others who come after us, once our day has passed.

There was some 'comedy' too in the Scotty role and the new actors did a grand job in emulating the original actors without imitating them. The likeness of the new and old Kirks was totally convincing.

I was worried about seeing Sylar as Spock but soon got over it.

Han dan Dial

I went to see West Side Story tonight in Corby. For an amateur production it had some very powerful moments. Unfortunately, some of the people of Corby do not know how annoying it is if they hold a conversation during a performance. Several times I felt like turning round and telling the two young women behind me to 'shut the f*#k up'; instead I merely turned round and glared at them. Mind you, there were other people chatting too during the overture [and at other times] when there was action on stage. The woman next to me checked her mobile phone [which had a bright screen] despite an announcement that we were all to turn phones off - they can play havoc with radio mikes.

All in all in was an enjoyable performance, especially Act Two when Anita was set upon by the Jets; this was stunning and very bravely done. At least that shut everyone up. The band was fantastic; I'd really gone because my drum peripatetic teacher was in the band although I also admire Bernstein's writing which was an added incentive. The way he combines the various melodies in "Tonight" is amazing.

Vocally one doesn't expect a great deal from amateurs although many of the voices were quite good. It was a shame that Toni had to sing so much of his part falsetto and more of a shame that Toni and Maria didn't sing "Somewhere". This was sung by a random soloist (listed as Girl in the programme) who insisted upon joining words which would have been better separated. Thus we heard,

Thereza place for russ,
A time and place for russ.
Hold my han dand we're halfway there.
Hold my han dan dial take you there...

Rachel Compton who played Maria was the best performer as she sounded excellent, (although some long notes were not developed and lacked vibrato - even I like a little of it) had a good range (up to top C I think in one song - my perfect pitch has slipped with age, a recognised phenomenon, see near the bottom of the page) and she was generally in tune. Additionally she looked the part!

"Gee Officer Krupke" was excellent and Action (Check Middleton) was brilliant in it. "One Hand, One Heart" produced the inevitable eye-watering.

Hopefully the cast will have voices until the last night. There were many forced shouts and I could almost hear vocal folds ripping; there's a technique for this kind of thing which many didn't have.

Navigation

I hate websites which do not allow me to find things quickly, as I have said before. Today I wanted information from the Associated Board site. Now their site has been a maze in the past but they once put up an 'Information at a glance' page. Blow me if that hasn't vanished, well the link to it has gone as far as I can see. Luckily I used their search box and typed in 'glance'. Here is the page.

Try it now. Assume you need the closing date for online entries in the UK. How many clicks before you find the information without using the search box (because you thought a page would be easy to find)?

Perhaps I am wearing my stupid hat today.

PS - I now know where to find the page and can get there in 4 clicks. Does it take you more or fewer clicks to get there? No prizes!

PPS - Since this post the ABRSM have revamped their website competely but not because of this post!