Daughter #1 - who is now reading for a PhD - replaced her laptop in the summer as it had had 4 years of hammer. Well, I replaced it for her as she was rather penniless at the time and I asked if could have the old one. I thought I had a use for it but it boots up very slowly despite my having removed all the software I could see, cleaned the HDD and run Temp Cleaner, CCleaner, generally defragged and burnt incense over it.
I offered it on Freegle because I am such an altruistic guy. I ended my advert with "Please form an orderly e-mail queue" and I duly had about 60 replies. This caused a problem. Who would win the item?
I decided to rule out anybody who had replied within an hour of seeing the advert as some people stay on the site all day looking for goods to resell (I reckon) and, if they could do that they jolly well do not need another laptop.
Next I decided to rule out all those people whose messages ended "Sent from my Blackberry". I cannot afford a bloody Blackberry so they are too well heeled.
Also removed from the list were parents who wanted it for a child younger than 9 - what's wrong with Monopoly for Christmas?
I had several parents, brothers and aunts after it for a family member who was about to start A levels or GCSEs. Hang on! It's December. 'A' level and GCSE courses begin in September. Porky pies?
Out went careless people - I've trodden on my son's laptop and cannot afford to get it replaced.
I finally picked a lady who said she did not have a laptop unless she went on the bus to Corby (some 14 miles away) to use her mother's. Sadly, all my e-mails bounced back so her settings are clearly wrong.
I then decided to select somebody who had not told me a sob story, did not want it for somebody else and and who had replied quite late (suggesting that they access the Internet in a library or friend's house). Long story short, she has not got back in touch after saying she would phone me 'tomorrow', in an email timed at 00:27 on Monday; that's Sunday to me (just before bed time for some) and it is now Tuesday evening.
I have picked somebody else.
I wish I hadn't started. The responsibility is too great.